Beautiful and Wonderful Woman.
“I am a rape survivor and to me that means I am a powerful woman. A beautiful and confident woman who survives this ordeal in life.
He thought I would not survive. He thought he had won. He thought I was finished. He took my virginity, my strength, my power, my love, but most importantly my dignity. When he did that, he thought he had won – taken it all at the end of the day – all the strength, all the power, all the love and especially all the dignity. But who am I to give myself up? To give up my beauty? Who am I to give up my power, my strength and my dignity. I am a wonderful and powerful woman.
Women are like trees. They only need to find their strength. A tree can lose its leaves, it’s branches and stems, but the thing about a tree is that its roots remain, where no-one can dig or reach. Because it is the roots that are the essential tool of life. When the rainy season comes again, the roots absorb the water, the leaves begin to show again, the stems appear and the flowers blossom in beautiful colours and the tree shines again.
Wow! What a beautiful tree.
I see myself as that tree. I see a beautiful, wonderful, stronger woman who has her dignity again. That’s me, myself and I.”
Fumana chose to be photographed by the beach where she rarely goes, but always finds comforting. It is somewhere that allows her to feel a great sense of inner peace. She cites her book of poems and her creative outlet as having been a source of strength for her over the years and finds that writing can give her a powerful release of built-up emotions.
“It’s difficult to write this, but I believe it is important. I was raped over 20 years ago by a boy a few years older than me. The first adult I told, told me to keep quiet and forget about it. I listened. I remember crying a lot and being very angry at the world. I remember finding out what a virgin was and realizing that I wasn’t one. When I was 9 teachers were asked why I was acting out. At 13 a doctor thought I was experiencing symptoms from trauma when I was diagnosed with a chronic condition. At 14 I was sent to the first psychologist and over the next ten years saw another three. At 20 I landed in rehab for five weeks…yet no one helped me with the sexual abuse until I was 26 and met Reinette Evans, the lady sitting on the floor in the photograph. At 20 after a failed suicide I made the decision not to make my best friend, Lesley du Preez live through my death. My wish to die never left, but I stuck to my decision. She is the only reason that I am alive today because I wanted more than anything to die. I am holding a picture of her in the photograph. Try to imagine what it is like to live this pain and complication as a young child with no one who knows how to help. When I met Reinette the most I had managed to do was to hide my pain fairly well and get along with the minimum number of people knowing I was depressed, angry at the whole world and making very destructive decisions. She knew how to help me from the very first time I met her. I remember leaving that meeting with hope for the first time in my life. My story and my struggle isn’t over, but thanks to someone finally knowing how to help me, today I don’t have the pain, the anger, the depression or the wish to die – instead I am slowly becoming whole.”
